April 2014 - John de Ruiter Gems

Openness And Softness Of Heart: The Real Connection With Your Own Being – Part 2

September 21, 2021April 28, 2014 by Tammy

John: With your self not needing to hold together, not needing to be your life-feed and your source, it is able to live. Your self then no longer has your desperate grasp in it, enabling you to develop as a being in it. Movement in your self that doesn’t come from your self changes your self. Your self slowly matches whatever it is that you are being in it. If that is a distorted beingness such as your heart being closed and hard, your self in time becomes the same.

Q: Is it a bit of exercise to listen to knowledge and not believe the self.

John: Not for your self. Not for you as a self, but for you as awareness in your heart. When you are in your heart opening and softening, the direction of your awareness isn’t into your self; it is into something of your own being. Awareness within openness and softness of heart is already by way of beingness connecting to real knowledge. The openness and softness is beingness of knowledge. Awareness within such beingness is directed to the source of that beingness, the knowledge within it, awareness knowing within it.

With openness and softness of heart, despite whatever kind of self you have, realization opens, realization of direct knowledge unlearned. It is your knowing what you are even if you’re not understanding it from within the perspective that you have in your self.

Q: This opening of the heart, is it a simple decision of awareness?

John: It is a response of awareness to knowing. When awareness responds to knowing, there is a softening in the heart. With every change of awareness there is instant change of form. That instant change of form is in your heart. Your entire relationship as awareness with knowledge is in constant effect in your heart. So in your heart you do always know. You may not know what you would like to know in your self and in your person, but you do always know what you need to know. Knowledge moves by what is most relevant at the present to you.

Your relationship with knowledge is an instant manifestation in your heart. It is an immediate effect. The effect within your self moves more slowly. There is much more form to your self, requiring more time for change. Your relationship as awareness with knowledge does show in your self. What also shows in your self is something of your history of your relationship with knowledge. In your person it also shows, requiring even more time for change, a change that is for better or for worse, depending on your beingness as awareness within your self. It also shows in your body, requiring even more time. You may have heard the expression before, that by the time that you are forty you will have earned the face you have. Everything that you are as awareness does in some way show everywhere.

What you are being as awareness is instantly manifested in your heart. It is that then that moves your self. What you are in your heart shows in your self. What you are in your self shows in your person and that shows in your body. What you are being as awareness registers and shows within each successive form, all to help you see.

When you awaken within to everything that is deeper than your self and you begin with awareness to be as that and move as that, all of the control, instead of being in your person and in your self, is returned to you what you first are, enabling what is unseen, you unseen, to govern and move everything that follows with awareness. You can be your own Innermost with awareness, having a self and a person and a life with which to express it.

The future of your self and the future of your person is determined by what you are at present being in your heart.

Openness And Softness Of Heart: The Real Connection With Your Own Being – Part 1

September 21, 2021April 25, 2014 by Tammy

Q: Good morning, John. I have a question about what you call the being or beingness. You say this deconstruction of the self is not possible by means of the self but only from a deeper level, and I’m not sure what you mean with being and if there is a connection to that or if I overlook it all the time.

John: Openness and softness of heart is real connection with your own being. The place of connection or separation in relationship to your own being is your heart. When you do, as awareness, stand against what you’re knowing within, you’ll be closing and hardening your heart and separating from your own being. Your own response to knowledge within also shows within your heart; immediately there’s opening and softening. Your heart displays for you your relationship with knowledge, whether you’re responding to knowledge or moving away from it. As you separate from knowledge and your heart closes and hardens, you are closing the door to your own being. It is not at all an absolute separation, but there is separation into form. You can see it in your own heart.

When there is openness and softness of heart, the door of your heart is not just open to knowing and knowledge, it opens right into your own being, enabling a movement of delicacies of being to enter your heart, and touch your heart, like touches of kindness within, a flow of love in your heart. As you remain in openness and softness of heart, it isn’t just the delicacies of being that begin to move into your heart and into expression in your self, but also streams of being, enabling you to learn as awareness in your self how to move in a way that doesn’t come from your self, a movement in your self that comes from these streams of being moving through your heart and into expression in your self, through your person, and to others. The delicacies, the streams of of meaning, are what provide a depth of meeting.

When your orientation as awareness becomes grounded in openness and softness of heart, you’re no longer dependent on your self in order to be. Your supply within no longer comes from your self; it no longer has connection to want and need. This is being rooted and grounded in openness and softness of heart despite whatever you are experiencing in your self, despite whatever is occurring in your self, despite whatever someone else is doing to you, despite your circumstances. Your connection, your life-feed within, is no longer your self. It is openness and softness of heart, delicate beingness.

In this being your ground as awareness, the holding comes off of your self. You’re able to see your self for what it is. There is no intrinsic need within to cover for your self, to keep your self together. You’re able to then be without any reference to your self, fundamentally freeing you of what your self is, enabling you to be present in your self, not because of your relationship to your self, but because of the openness and softness of heart and your coming from delicacies of being and streams of being.

Knowing: the Universe of Your Own Experience

September 24, 2018April 15, 2014 by Tammy

Q: Hi, John I’m just back from a Zen retreat. I was there sitting for five hours a day looking at a wall, questioning myself: ‘who am I?’ What I found was that I don’t know. I don’t know who is sitting here. I don’t know who is speaking, who is walking, who is moving. The only thing I know is that I’m here.

John: You are meaning. There you are, and there is no ‘who.’ You are meaning moving as intimacy of being. By that we meet, meaning that has a being by which to move, that has a self enabling structured function of meaning moving as a being that has a person in a richness of life. Your best form is your heart, a heart that is like a well-worked, cultivated ground. It is display of how you have been in your self. It is what makes you a good man.

Your experience of what you are is from the outermost inwards, enabling you to sit still before a wall for hours asking of that which looks, ‘who are you?’ What you are is the inverse of your experience. Because of all the levels of your form, you naturally relate to the forms you have. You relate to their function, distracting you from what you are in all of that, not a ‘who’ as you do experience it. It’s not who you are. Who you are can be answered in your self and in your person.

But you weren’t sitting there to discover your person or your self. You wanted to know what you are, not a person, not a self, not even a being, but much better: Meaning. It is because of what you are, meaning, that you relate to it in everything by the fullness of it or the lack of it. Everything that you do in your self as a person in your life is because of what you are. Every movement of yours reveals that what you are is meaning, all the way to your outermost, a full development of form and function with wondrous complexity. So beautiful is the complexity that you overlook your own simplicity.

You don’t see what you are because you’re accustomed to being within all your forms who you are. Who you are asks. Who you are doesn’t know. What you are does know. What you are is manifest. It’s manifest in how you relate to meaning in every moment, whether it is the lack of it or the fullness of it. Your connection to what you are is unbroken.

Your heart reveals what the who has done with what you are, what you as awareness as a person and as a self have done with meaning, have done with what you are. You are from the innermost outwards. You are, from the very innermost outwards through form after form after form, you in form, experiencing that you are that form, that you are in life a person with a self and a heart whose entire relationship with everything within and without is by meaning.

And you know that there is more and more and more to your innermost, more to your innermost than there is to your outermost. Your outermost isn’t able to access your own innermost. You can’t access your own innermost without as awareness matching what it is and being what it is. For that, as awareness, you don’t need your forms, your person and your self. For you to access your own innermost as awareness is for you to surrender form after form after form, enabling you as awareness to recede to what you first are, for you to be meaning — meaning not needing a being, meaning not needing to even move. Pure meaning without manifestation, the supply and the source to every little bit throughout all of your forms, enabling you to be in them. It is what gives you cohesion in everything.

You’re able as awareness to be the inverse of your own experience knowing. It is a shift of awareness directed by knowledge, by awareness knowing, not informed by form, not informed by your form, but informed by you, meaning, knowing. You were so accustomed as meaning to your own forms that you asked for you, but you asked as form. If you would have, as meaning aware, gone through total inversion you would have, as meaning aware, been meeting with innermost of wall. Having that, having such unstopped entrance to meaning, realizing the ease and naturalness of it would have, before that wall, broken your heart.

If you would like to experience what you are in front of a wall, meet, as meaning moving as intimacy of being. Enter Meaning and meet. Meaning with all innermost meets meaning with all innermost. Someone looks at what’s occurring and you are seen sitting before a wall. Amazing.

The deeper that you go, the more form that there is of yours that you’re no longer using or relating to, with the ability of being all of that form and relating to it at the same time.

Only meaning, all the way out into form is able to relate to meaning.

Openness And Softness Of Heart: The Real Connection With Your Own Being – Part 2

Openness And Softness Of Heart: The Real Connection With Your Own Being – Part 1

Knowing: the Universe of Your Own Experience

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