Month: October 2020

Past, Present And Future: Awakening To The Beingness Of Time

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Q: Crying has been coming very easily lately, and I don’t know why. I know there is remorse about my past. I wanted to really look and know the truth, and a whole picture came, with an opening of my heart. I’m trying to be soft with the pain of it, but I don’t like seeing the results of my actions on my children and grandchildren. I’m trying to move on and accept it. What do you see in this?

John: The present isn’t real if it is not free to fully include the past. The past is such an important part of the present. The greater the difference between the present and the past, the more significant the barrier between conscious awareness and subconscious awareness.   

The conscious awareness and the present is only as real as it is connected to where it came from. That brings not only your source right into conscious awareness, but also the whole of the past: the whole of everything, consciously welcome within the present.  

When consciousness increases in the present, that causes such meaningful upheaval, always integrating every level that existed in the past that you had no conscious awareness of, re-discovering the present in the past.  

As awareness, you cannot move through your own beingness without awakening to the beingness of time. When you are dwelling within the beingness of time, there is a living connectedness to the whole of time. Then, even time is fully, really you. Then there is knowing where you came from, what you came through, what you presently are in that, and within all of that, where it is that you are going. 

Real purpose exists when time is not something that is partitioned within you, when time is not made up of fragmented solids but is the same as your own beingness. Awareness that is growing within itself is always increasingly knowing itself as the whole of time. 

Time is the same being that you are. It is not about you opening your past, but your past really opening you: you letting your subconscious awareness freely open up your conscious awareness. Then, knowing your future opens you, as does knowing your past.  

Q: What do you mean by “knowing your future?”  

John: The beginning of knowing your future is you knowing the beingness of your future. That doesn’t give you understanding of your future; it intimately connects you with your future. Then you know your future as you do know your self, even if you presently do not understand your future or understand your self.  

The beginning of knowing your self, the past or the future is you knowing the beingness of each. 

Q: I feel some connection to what you are saying inasmuch as I know the outside world isn’t as interesting to me as it used to be. The inside is much more interesting. Is that linked to what you’re saying?

John: That’s the beginning of it. It is the interior that gives meaning to the exterior. The exterior does also give meaning to the interior, but it is very easy to get lost in that. Within each there is the natural swinging of a pendulum, the momentum of realization: first of one’s exterior existence and then, if there is realness, also of one’s interior existence.

Each time that there’s movement into the one and then into the other, there is an integrating of the one from the other. Slowly, the two become inseparable … until there is no longer a difference. 

 

Just You, Loved: Flourishing In The Mystery Of Your Sexuality

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Q: There’s something I want to get clear about that’s been a troublemaker in my life since I was little. You’ve recently said something like: “Your sexuality is made for this” and “the closest in all of your life for this to have is your sexuality.” Something like that. And it links to something else you’ve said recently, too, which is to do with coming here to marry on the highest level. Are you speaking about the power of human sexuality to move through and with that?

John: Not its power, but its inherent capacity to translate your being, and beyond, into your self and to your self. 

Q: I don’t understand.

John: Sexuality is the most powerful human engine to translate into your self and to your self what is deeper than your self. Sexuality is first a mystery. In you, it’s your mystery. Experience of sexuality in your self covers that mystery. Experience turns your sexuality into something that is all understood. That’s not real. The mystery of your sexuality is real. 

Q: That feels like a relief!

John: Draw any conclusions about your sexuality and you cover its mystery – conclusions both positive and negative. 

Q: So that place of the melding, of consuming and being consumed is the non-polarity unity space that feels so sexual but not personal, sometimes, for me. 

John: Don’t understand your sexuality, and it flowers because its mystery moves. As the mystery of your sexuality is free to move in your body and in your self, it cleans you. 

Q: But sometimes I block it.

John: Do anything with it for your self and from your self, and you block its mystery. You block its magicalness. The movement of the mystery of your sexuality unstopped, in your body and in your self, re-contextualizes you. You don’t get to understand you: you get to know you. 

The magical sexual fields, within, are inaccessible to your self. They are only accessible by you, you without your self. They are accessible to you as you are taken by the unknown within, in you, that you directly know the presence of, but in your self are clueless about. Presume to understand and you lose accessibility. Understanding doesn’t give it to you. It doesn’t give you the access. Pure you does. 

For you to really get to know its mystery is for you to let its garden grow, flourish in your body and in your self without you doing anything with that in your life, without you making it useful positively or negatively.

You freely let this garden develop in your body, move freely in your body, move freely in your self, without you in your life using that to create a bridge to others; that it lives contained in your body, contained in your self. But the depth of beingness that moves in the mystery of your sexuality, that beingness freely moves outside of your body, outside of your self, to everyone and everything. That is deeper level womanness.

Q: I see how trying to understand and judging how far in I can go is blocking me from entering further. There’s this very human part of me that wants to say I’m so sorry for not getting it right sooner.

John: That’s easy: forgiven!

Q: And it’s okay if it’s just a little bit of knowing and beingness? Everything doesn’t all have to be ethereal and celestial? Because I have these peak experiences and then I think “That’s it! I need to be there every second!” And I’m not. 

John: Erase them. Erase your peak experiences, and their frequency, their code, lives: lives in you, moves in you. As you reference from your self the experience, you cover its frequency; you cover its coding. 

Q: Really?

John: Be warmly blind in all of your self concerning spirituality, and you’ll see. 

Q: Oh, I love that! That gentle, tender, delicateness, warmly blind.

John: You are loved. Leave everything out of that. Don’t connect it to anything. Live loved, and you’ll turn into it. No mental connections, no beliefs, no conclusions, no bridges. Just loved. No love narrative. Just you, loved. 

If that is the only thing that you live, inside, nothing added to it for the rest of your life, you will die in a garden, a garden that has grown all of your life. That garden that you die in, after you’ve died, lives. 

You, loved, without any mental connection … and the mystery of your sexuality will flourish. 

Bye for now, garden girl.

Living In The Light Of Goodness That Doesn’t Pass Away

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Q: It’s been such a rich experience for me to be here with you, and I’m grateful. My question is about fear. A year ago I was treated for cancer and my heart was damaged by the radiation. No one can tell me if this will heal or how long it will take. I feel such fear and insecurity because of this. I hope you can help me.

John: You will be just fine after you die, and for sure you’re going to die. You have no real reason to be afraid of dying. You’re not afraid of leaving everything behind and entering what you cannot really comprehend; you do it each time you go to sleep. It’s a little bit like dying. Everything starts to fade out. 

When you lie down to go to sleep, your day is the first to fade away. As your day passes away, your person passes away. Your self remains, and as you become quieted in your self, your self begins to pass away. How you relate to your self passes away, and you’re resting in your heart. There’s not much there anymore, but it’s really good. As you continue to relate more deeply, deeper than your own heart, you fall asleep. 

What you are deeply familiar with, in this, is goodness. What comes after you being awake in your body is you falling asleep in your body. Goodness doesn’t diminish and what you really are doesn’t diminish. You come through it all in the next day and you start anew. That’s all very similar to what dying is like; what there is before and what there is after. 

If your heart is damaged because of the radiation treatment, and if that damage is outside your control, is not able to be addressed, then whatever that damage is, it is. If that brings you closer to dying, then you’re closer to dying. You’re closer to the next goodness.

You don’t need to move into the next goodness with haste, and you don’t need to stay in the present goodness in a way of holding back from the next. You know that you love goodness. Love being in the goodness that you’re in, and when the next goodness comes, when that time comes where this present goodness is over, you are goodness, you love goodness, and you’ll move into the next goodness. 

If you hold onto the present one, fearing what you’ll lose when you move into the next one, then you’re not really in this goodness. Be in all of this goodness that you can, beautifully relaxed in it, really moving in it, while at a moment’s notice you’re ready for the next goodness. 

When you are deeply quieted and gentled in your heart, you are not afraid of dying. Let that settle the entire issue. Concerning the issue, rest in what you know. 

Rest in what you know in your heart, and live. Live that way until it’s all done.

Q: When I hear what you say, it sounds as if my dying is close by in time, and I don’t feel that. 

John: Sooner or later is close. 

It doesn’t matter how long you live. What matters is that you really live, but from the deepest you know the truth of, until it’s all done.

For you to really live, let your death, whenever that is going to be, very sweetly occupy a little part of your heart. The light of that goodness will deeply inspire you in your living. You’ll not live as though everything is going to last, and you’ll relate to meaning in everything.

You’ll be that which doesn’t pass away in the midst of everything that you know is not going to last.  

 

 

Building From The Goodness Within

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Q: How can I take on new responsibilities and at the same time be okay with what’s around me?

John: On the inside, by you always being about building something. As easy as it is for you to break something on the inside or the outside, you become clear that you’re really all about building. 

When you are about building something good on the inside, you’re taking on new responsibility and it changes your whole relationship with everything that’s outside of your self. It changes your relationship with circumstances and difficulty, and with others. 

When you’re building something on the inside, you’ll be putting something together that in your heart you know is good, and you’re helping that goodness on the inside. You’re being responsible for what is good in you, and that changes how you are with others.

Just live liking helping what is good inside. It feels a little bit like watering a flower. 

Notice the different flowers inside and like helping them, and you’ll see them in others.

 

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