Sarah

Integrating Anger And Reactivity

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Q: John, I find I can get really quite angry in social interactions where I feel unfairly treated. It happened recently that I wanted to speak with someone who refused because I was getting angrier. There’s a point at which I close off. I’m wondering whether there’s something I’m missing, or if it’s okay to get angry with others sometimes?

John: For you to be angry in a situation like that exposes that you lack depth in your reasonableness. You’re well acquainted with and value reasonableness, but if you’re pushed to a certain point, you give it up. There’s a limit to your reasonableness.

Q: Do you have another word for reasonableness?

John: Heartfully rational. You’ll be heartfully rational until you’re pushed too far, but being pushed too far is a line you’ve created in your self and beyond that line you don’t go deeper. In that, you give importance to your self that doesn’t belong to your self. That importance puts how you see your self out of balance and enables you to be provoked.

Q: So next time I’m in a situation like this, what helps me to get over this line?

John: Be profoundly honest the moment you feel the first twinges of reaction. The reaction begins with a micro-tightening and hardening in your heart. If you don’t catch it there, it’s going to grow. It’s going to develop until your whole self moves into distortion and the distortion shows you what you’re being in the self.

The reaction is a misplacement of importance, attributing importance to your self when that importance all belongs to what you know. If you give that importance to your self, then in a situation like the one you described, you’ll be right instead of open, right instead of responsive, and that rightness has no deep meaning. The rightness is all about how you see your self, so it’s a self-oriented rightness.

If you’re really open to meaning, it doesn’t matter how right you are about something. When you become reactive like that, you’re wrong.

Q: Wrong because I’m closing?

John: Yes. If you have to close and harden your heart for you to achieve something, even for you to achieve something that you perceive is right, you’ve abandoned a depth of meaning in you to achieve a superficial level of meaning.

If you become angry, be open to see how you have misplaced meaning. You can, for example, see the humour of that in your self instead of being caught in the reaction of it. You can take the situation that you’ve described, and you can put it on television. A situation like that would work very well in a sitcom. As soon as you’re angry, depth of meaning is dropped. 

Initially, as you’re developing in your self and your person, anger invites you to integrate your experience of your power, and what it is for you to be in balance with the use of your power.

If you become stuck at a line that’s in your self, solidifying that line each time it’s provoked, you won’t be learning from your own anger. But as long as you’re slowly learning in some way, it’s all fine.

Q: I often catch it too late and wish I’d done it differently, but I realize that I do know when this is building up and the learning opportunity that is here.

John: Yes, catch it before it even has a chance to heat up in your self. When it has come to the heating point, you’ve already deluded your self. You’ve given undue attention to something you know doesn’t matter very much.

Q: Yes, I can see now that the moment I think I’m right is also the moment I’m deluding myself.

John: If negative emotion comes into relationship with you being right about something, that’s an ego. You’ve lost perspective. That means you’re giving your power to something that doesn’t matter, a level of self-importance that has no real value. All of the energy and power that makes the ego belongs to what you honestly know in your heart.

When you’re angry, there’s a fire out of control in you regardless of the rightness of your position as you see it. As soon as you see that, you need to pull the fire alarm. When you pull the fire alarm, everything that’s taking place in you ends, and everyone in you has to leave the building. When the fire’s gone, then everyone in you can come back into the building.

When you come back in, you’ll have perspective.

 

Teaching Children How To Handle Power

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Q: I think my young son is testing boundaries, and he sometimes quite intentionally does things we’ve asked him not to do. He seems to want our reaction or response.

John: He wants to play with power, so you need to play back to him with your power.

Q: How do I do that?

John: By being in your power and really moving it, while carefully reading your child. If you use too much, you’re going to overwhelm him. If you use too little, you mistakenly empower him. He is trying to sort out his power by throwing it at you. Use the same degree of power and keep it playful and light. If you make it serious, you’ll confuse him. If your power turns into a negative emotion, you’re no longer safe for him.

Your child trusts you, so let him have really wholesome tastes of your power. He’ll learn, in testing your power, that your power is safe. It’s much stronger than his, but as strong as it is, it’s safe.

Q: I’m clear about that. I have reacted, sometimes, and I’ve seen what it does inside both of us if I’m not really clear and coming from my heart. There seems to be a closing because I’m not being safe. There’s a lot of creativity and discernment needed in that kind of play.

John: It’s all creativity, with you remaining in your heart.

Q: There seems to be a place for straightness, too.

John: The straightness comes from your relaxed clarity, so if you’re only projecting straightness but not being it, the child reads two different things and it’s confusing. You’re being straight on the surface, but inside you’re not clear. He then has to sort out what it all means. For him, throwing power at the situation is the easiest way of sorting it all out.

Q: Really seeing him and letting him see me.

John: If your child can see you while you’re using your power, you’re safe, and your power is safe for him. He learns how to use power while being safe. When my children were little and I would use my power, they would go wide-eyed … and then they’d smile.

Q: I’m trying to imagine what that would look like, in my case. Is it gently pushing them to a boundary?

John: Not, not gently. It depends on the level of power they’re throwing.

Q: Is that like finding a cutting-edge for them, inviting them to explore in that way?

John: It’s carefully reading them in the power that they’re throwing at you and giving back precisely what they want, because while you do that, they really do experience your power. It can be a strong experience for them, but because they’re being seen, they know the safety and they really like it.

Q: So what is he wanting when we’ve clearly told him “no”, and he looks right back at us and deliberately does it?

John: A wrestle!

Q: I see. This is so good to hear because it runs counter to my mothering patterns. It invites me out of trying to control the situation. I have to step out of my own comfort zone.

John: If your child grows up that way, then later, if someone throws power at them within the severity of life, they really understand and are not threatened. They can see all the way through into what is really there in that person. Then, for your child, someone else’s use of power isn’t intimidating.

 

This Golden Life: An Immeasurable Opportunity

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Q: I know that this body will be gone, and everything will be gone with it. Life is just like experience, because it comes and it goes. It brings nothing.

John: It comes with an immeasurable opportunity, and that is for you and what you first are. It offers pure awareness the possibility of evolving with great, great speed, because in every little way that pure awareness moves into manifestation, it has accurate and immediate, full reflection. 

Q: But when there will be full reflection, it will be nothing, because…

John: It’s not nothing.

Q: It’s just there will be no one to experience, so it will be as prior to the body.

John: It’s not at all the same because within existence pure awareness is in constant maximum realization. It’s realizing what it is through its own reflections in manifestation.

Q: But this realization is a form of what I am not.

John: What you are not yet, until you realize. As soon as you realize, you – pure awareness – know more.

Q: Is this realization like a switch that stays on, or is it something to be constantly remembered?

John: When awareness evolves, it doesn’t remember. It realizes what it has never known.

Q: Is there an end point to it, or is it just like realizing eternity?

John: There is a point to it. Every way that awareness evolves within this physical reality it needs for what is next. If you’re looking at it from a linear perspective, then you could look at it as a lifetime offering pure awareness the amount of evolution that would normally take tens of thousands of years.

It’s not a “nothing”. The value of this life is golden. For what pure awareness is, it’s golden.

Q: Sometimes it feels like some objects are moving, sometimes it goes and like everything stops. It’s moving but it stops, like complete stillness.

John: The full stop in this life, for awareness, is when your body dies. Then that opportunity is over, and you are in what is next. Whichever way you evolved or not, is what is in the next. This life is not something to not be in. The meaning of pure awareness being in this life is almost immeasurable, it’s so great.

If you could see it for what it really is, your response to the opportunity, your response as pure awareness in recognizing meaning and value would be similar to a mother holding her newborn baby. As soon as she has her baby, she holds it and she meets with what is there, meaning and value she has not known before come into her, and she loves. 

That gives a little idea of what it is like for pure awareness to come into the opportunity of physical life.

 

 

Magically Taken By Knowledge: Being Your Soul In The Midst Of Life

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Q: I want you to show me how to give top priority to my heart, to be in it to the fullest extent. I’ve had enough of the ignorance.

John: For you to be that far gone into your heart, start with what is even deeper. The language of what you’re speaking of is a lot deeper than your heart. In your life, within all of the spaces that you’re in, in all of your time, in the midst of everything that is going to pass away, in whichever way you can, quietly lean into what you are after you’ve died. 

As you live in that kind of leaning into what has nothing to do with yourself or your life, you begin to come into that resonance in you that directly has to do with that. It’s like exercising a muscle that hasn’t been used. As you stay with it and stay with it, you start to realize.

It’s your conscious leaning into what doesn’t relate to your life that exercises it, even if it would seem that you’re not getting anywhere. The “not getting anywhere” is from the perspective of your self. It’s your inclination to even have such a leaning that is it. What that means is you already know. You don’t even need to know what it is; you know that it is.

It’s like you being your soul in the midst of your life, even though you don’t know what that is. What you do know in that is a resonance and a reach. They are worth more than your life, more than anything you do. It’s worth more than what you are being in what you do. The resonance is finer. That resonance moves your being.

It’s a little like looking in the night way out into the stars. You begin to lose the concept of what you’re looking at and you find that you are just looking in and in, and there is more and more in you that knows, that knows something, and a part of you that goes so far in, so far out, that it never comes back. 

As you live, that part of you isn’t coming back into your life. That part of you is so gone into what’s more. It’s that part that doesn’t come back that shifts your footing in your life; that in anything that you’re doing, you are really in something else that isn’t about what you are doing. 

The resonance of that goes into everything you do, and just by virtue of living, that resonance becomes thicker and thicker. It keeps taking more of you. The only connection that has to your life is that that resonance touches intimately right into your humanness. It makes you so tender within, so available. It makes you so there. 

This other substance that is taking you, as you live, more and more begins to fill the interior of your face. A different sense perception starts to open and you find that that which is awakening into your face and in your eyes is actively connecting into everything. It touches into everything. Everything touches into that in you. Your reason for living is that. Lean into what you know I’m speaking to in you.

Let all of that ground into the mystery of your sexuality, a depth of knowledge where you have no understanding. It’s that knowledge that you let magically take you. That will bring up subtly in you a depth of womanness that is intrinsic to your being having your self.

Building A Bomb-Proof Relationship

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Excerpts from two cafe conversations on building a real relationship:

Q: I am wondering whether a relationship I am in is real, and whether we’re a match. Can you help me figure this out?

John: To simplify it, stay away from being sexually physical. It’s not for moral reasons; it’s for practical reasons, because as soon as you build a fire everything is about the fire. If you build a relationship without building a fire, it’s much more stark and very simple, but then what you’re in the relationship for is really clear.

Q: It’s difficult to stop once you’re in a relationship that’s already become sexual.

John: It won’t be difficult once you’re married; you’ll stop it easily. Familiarity easily ends it all, whereas when you’re in the newness, all you want is the fire.  

Basically, don’t have sex until you’re married, and it’s not for old ideas or old reasons. It goes way deeper than that. It’s just very practical and it works, whereas the other doesn’t work. It isn’t that there’s something wrong with fire, it’s that the relationship is not ready for a fire.

Q: How do you know if you’re a match or not?

John: If you don’t know, then spend lots of time together without the fire. Then you’re basically developing a friendship until it becomes clear to you – really clear to both of you – that you would really marry. As soon as that’s clear, that’s where your relationship starts, whereas before that it’s a friendship.

Once the relationship starts, then continue to leave out the physical because the fire will just take over the whole relationship. It will burn high and then come down. Then, once you get married and familiarity sets in, the most difficult part is to have a fire at all. It’s a lot easier to do without the fire initially than later to try to build up a fire, where everything in your selves makes it difficult.

Building a relationship without the fire is what you need to be able to build a fire in a familiar relationship.

Q: What do you say about being physical in other ways, like hugging, holding hands or kissing?

John: If you hug, then you hug as friends and you know the difference. If you cross that line, then you’re starting a little fire and that fire will build quickly. If you introduce a fire to discover each other on a friendship level to see if there’s a worthy relationship or a worthy marriage, that will distract you.

Q: What is the difference between a friendship and a relationship? If I keep sexuality out of the relationship, what is the difference between that and friendship? Is it only the commitment?

John: The commitment, and an unending depth of dearness that you give into toward each other.

Q: I’m surprised how often I can fall down and out of the dearness.

John: Falling down doesn’t matter. What matters is the manner in which you get back up, and how quickly you get back up. How quickly do you open and soften? That’s what matters. See how practical where you’re coming from is on a self-level, because in a relationship it’s intensely practical. It’s what makes or breaks a relationship.  

Have a deep friendship in discovering each other. Dig into each other. Find out how the other deals with pressure and with personal cost.

Q: What would be the reason for a marriage or a committed relationship?

John: That you would have deeper level reasons for getting married, not surface level reasons.

Q: How does this translate to the deeper levels? Is it to do with dearness?

John: Deeper level seeing. This isn’t something that’s common; it’s a most unusual way of relationship coming together, but it’s the kind that works. The easy way that relationships come together is the way they won’t work.

Q: In the past I’ve experienced that fire coming up when there’s been deep attraction, and I’ve also known relationships with less fire but a lot of dearness – more like a heart connection, and maybe sexually not so strong.

John: That’s better, and then take it one step further.

Q: What would that step be?

John: Deeper levels.

Q: And if I don’t see that deeper level connection maybe it’s not there?

John: If you don’t see it then you’re probably not moving in it, or the two of you are probably not moving in it. If you’re moving in it, you’ll see it.

Q: Can you see if I’m moving in it?

John: It doesn’t matter what I see; it matters what you see and she sees. Surface compatibility is not your ground.

Q: What do you mean by “surface compatibility”?

John: That you like each other and enjoy spending time together, lots of meaningful interactivity. That’s not your ground. Your ground has to be that you’re both coming from the same place regarding truth and depth – you’re both coming from the same place, moving in the same direction and that’s your life. It’s on that that you build your whole relationship.

Q: I can sense that in her. She has that aspect.

John: She has that aspect but that’s not her life. Everyone has that aspect.

Q: Sometimes it takes time to sink into it.

John: If it’s not solidly there, in a way that you can give it a really good shake and it’s just solid, I wouldn’t have that relationship. As soon as a friendship is coming together and that foundation gets shaken, for me that would end the possibility of a relationship right there. I wouldn’t live on any kind of hope, such as “oh, she’ll grow, she’ll develop, she’ll come around.” There, hope is a deceiver.

Q: I’m confused, because at the beginning there was a sense of huge potential.

John: Easily, and it doesn’t necessarily mean very much. Set up the circumstances just right, and you can find streams of being, movement of deeper levels, depth and heart in almost anyone. Apply a little bit of pressure and 90% of everyone falls off. Apply more pressure, and the percentage of those who are still there becomes less and less.

What I’m referring to is a bomb-proof relationship: how to start it, how to build it, how to keep it.

Q: Anything less than that you don’t recommend.

John: You would have a bomb-proof relationship, or you don’t need a relationship. Don’t start with something faulty and try to make it better, nor have hope that she’ll come around.

Most relationships are not real relationships, they’re contractual relationships: mutual exploitation with some heart and maybe some deeper levels mixed into it, but they go by the wayside as soon as there’s pressure.

In an average relationship, as soon as there’s pressure there’s a fight, whereas in a real relationship, as soon as there’s pressure the deep shows up because that’s where each goes. That’s where they’re drawing from.

 

Dark Energies And Your Untouchable Heart

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Q: I want to get clear about what seems like a demon that repeatedly comes in bringing pain, as if to say, “now you have to look at it.” Are there, perhaps, dark energies? How can I be with them?

John: Yes, there are dark energies and they can only work with you, influence and be a part of you when you‘re feeding your conditioning.

Q: So when I don’t feed them they have no entrance?

John: Yes.

Q: Is it the same when there are people with this energy around them?

John: Yes.

Q: How exactly can I not feed it?

John: First, by you not needing protection from it. The need of protection from it attracts it.

Q: When I am aware that it could be starting to come in, what should I do?

John: As soon as you see that it’s starting to come in, just sweetly humble your self. When you give the importance that you’ve invested in your self back to your heart, you’re sweetly humbling your self.

Q: So there’s no need for investigation or finding my self. I can humble my self without this.

John: Your self comes after your heart, but if you put your self before your heart, you fool your self, you blind your self, and you make your self vulnerable to every separate kind of beingness that you’re now being in it. 

You don’t need to find your self. Just find your heart. When you find your heart, all is good regardless of how bad everything might seem to be.

Q: But I fear presenting this darkness and danger with my vulnerable heart.

John: Present it.

Q: Really?

John: Dark energy can only have and commune with dark energy.

Q: So it’s really possible to do this with an innocent, vulnerable heart?

John: It’s untouchable.

Q: Okay. And what about the temptation to protect myself?

John: Let go of your dark energy. As soon as you’re tempted by anything, you’re being dark energy.

Q: Otherwise there would be no hook?

John: Yes. An open and a soft heart cannot be tempted. You can present it to any dark energy and it can’t be tempted. It can’t be corrupted. Temptation exists when you disagree with what you know in your heart.

Q: And if there’s a tiny step in the direction of temptation, it’s possible to let go of the dark energies and go back to the heart?

John: Yes.

Q: It’s really never too late, however complicated it seems?

John: That’s right. There’s only one “too late”: if you’re feeding your conditioning and you die.

Q: “Too late” because then there’s no body anymore?

John: Yes. The opportunity of being in a body is gone.

Q: The opportunity for what?

John: To be one with what you know in the midst of an environment that isn’t the same as what you know the truth of, and that isn’t the same as your own being.

Q: And not to be tempted and corruptible.

John: As soon as you’re tempted by anything, that’s wonderful. Right there, you know exactly what to let go of: to let go of what you’re holding on to and respond to your heart, respond into what you know in your heart and from there you respond right into your being.

Q: This is like fulfilling life.

John: Yes, deeply.

Q: Then it’s not to do with whether what’s happening is right or not.

John: Yes. If you are wrongfully thrown into prison and you’re upset with that, the dark energies are saying “the party’s over here!” until, in prison, you sweetly humble your self. There, you’re transferring the sense of entitlement that you have in your self to fair treatment straight to your heart, and your heart is entitled to have you.

Being wrongfully imprisoned doesn’t stop you from being in your heart and it doesn’t stop you from accessing and manifesting all of your being in that kind of environment. Then, while you’re wrongfully in prison you are so free. You’re free to be everything that you’re actually in a body for. Put a being in unfair or hostile treatment and that being thrives.  

A being flourishes as well in the best or worst environment. It doesn’t have a preference. An unintegrated self relates to preference. An integrated self relates in the same way that a being relates.

Q: It sounds so simple! Can we be aware of this all the time?

John: If you are, as awareness, honest to the core – yes. If you’re more honest to your self than to your person, more honest to your heart than to your self, and more honest to what you know in your heart than your own heart, that puts you right into your being. Honesty to your being fulfills your heart, your self and your person.

Q: So it’s good to stay connected to the clear frequency of my being all the time as I move through the world, and to respond instantly.

John: Yes.

Q: What happens if I die in this clear state?

John: The next for you will have a larger spectrum.

If you live for your self instead of for what you know in your heart, then in the next you will be perfect love in a smaller spectrum. It doesn’t matter what you’re being in this life – one with what you know or separate from what you know. After you’ve died you will be perfect love. The difference won’t show in the love you are. The difference will show in the spectrum of being that you’re in. 

What it makes a real difference in, after you’ve died, is your mobility, not the love that you really are. That won’t have a limit to it, but there will be a limit to your mobility.

Q: But then I’ll have no body.

John: Yes, you’ll have a body. You’ll have all of the levels of your own being. You’ll have a multi-level body that’s limited in its mobility, or open in its mobility. But either way, it’s a body of love. It’s like the difference between a tiny little cup, full, and an enormous container, full. Whatever you’re being in this life determines your next. Not your next life, but your next.

Q: So suicide or giving up because it seems too dark and complicated isn’t a solution because of how it determines what’s next. Is that right?

John: Yes. But you can’t judge that by what it looks like. It’s all determined by your relationship, as awareness, to what you know the truth of.

There’s only one real way for anyone, and that’s full response to the truth within, regardless of what self you have, what past you have and what circumstances you’re in.

Q: And you can’t judge anyone, because human beings come with different packages and possibilities.

John: Yes. It isn’t possible to be a disadvantaged awareness. You have no advantages or disadvantages. What you have is your response to what you know. That’s what evolves you.

Q: So always be in response to this connection. I see. Thank you.

Fifty-Two Living Concepts: What Words Are For

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Q: You have been talking about the intellect. I’m not an intellectual type; I’m more oriented to feeling.

John: Yet you have an intellect and you can use that to help that which you already know, and you can also feel.

Q: I can feel what you mean, but if I had to put it in words, I wouldn’t know where to start.

John: Then on your own, love beginning. Use your intellect sensitively to give structure to what you feel of what you know. Write down what you already understand of what you know, and then before you finish make sure that what you are writing makes perfectly good sense. Then use that same approach in dealing with your issues. Cherish exploring how delicate and sensitive reason can be.

The discovery of your intellect is the discovery of reason, so that you can give delicate structure to the little bit that you know in your heart.

Q: When I go there, I go into a silence where there are no words, no intellectual understanding.

John: Then put it to words. Being able to feel what you know means that there already is form to what you know. Use your intellect to add even more fitting form. This has nothing to do with you becoming an intellectual; it has everything to do with you already having an intellect and already having what you know. Bring everything that you have together in one place, all for what you know in your heart.

Come to love your intellect because it is able to so delicately help what you know. It doesn’t matter where you begin. Do delicately begin. Don’t use being unskilled in the use of your intellect for not beginning. As unskilled as you are in the use of your intellect, delicately begin using it and never stop.

Q: In favour of feeling?

John: No. In favour of what you know in your heart, and that you also feel.

Q: Would that be putting my intellect ahead of my heart?

John: No. Bring your intellect into your heart, so that you can give lovely form to what you know in your heart; so that you can say what you know in a way that anyone can understand, even someone with an unskilled intellect. You are not too old for this.

Q: But how can I put into words that which is beyond words?

John: It’s not beyond words; it is what words are for. Love finding the words for what you say is unspeakable. That is what your intellect is for. Bring words into your heart and see where they most appropriately fit, and then love how they fit.

Use your intellect to bring from your whole week one word into your heart and see how deeply its meaning goes. If you do that for a whole year, you’ll be able to give words to the little bit that you do know in your heart.

Each week, in choosing a different word, choose a word that you would most admire in being. Choose a word that would be most meaningful to embody and then take an entire week to discover its meaning. Do so with real devotion. Each word represents a concept so deep and vast that after a whole lifetime you’ll know that you have only solidly begun.

There is a world in a word and in a being. Love being that being. One word is able to house you – one a week. At the end of a year you’ll have fifty-two living concepts that so wonderfully fit what you know, through which you can speak what you know: fifty-two worlds that you have lived consciously and through your intellect in your heart.

You still won’t be an intellectual, but you’ll have an intellect that knows.

Q: I really look forward to that.

John: Look forward to this week.

Q: I started already. 

John: What is the word?

Q: Gentledness. That’s what I am experiencing most strongly at the moment.

John: As you choose each new word, remain encompassing and being encompassed by each previous word, using your intellect to encompass and to be encompassed by meaning. And love that such meaning can govern your person.

The Calling And The Awakening Of The Planet

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Q: For some time I’ve been getting a sense of the “us” as the form of the one being, and that you’re pivotal in moving “us” into form as the one being. It seems to be opening up more and more. I wondered if you could fill out something about the connectivity of “us” and how it relates to the calling, or what you are coming from?

John: What I’m bringing together through the movement of being, particularly its deeper levels, is the forming of a body of being in so many of us, where a being on the level of form that we’re familiar with in our selves is having a body through which to move in everything that is seen.

As this begins to form in so many, what also comes about in the movement of that is our body of being – our being manifested in us, visibly. A one body of being. In moving as one body of being, in being what we know all in levels deeper than our selves but manifested in our selves, we move each other.

We don’t just move with each other. In you moving what moves you that is of your being, we are moved, and our listening is becoming attuned to that. If anyone moves as a being, we move. It is so beautifully delicate, and increasingly less fragile.

Q: What I know in those experiences of connectivity is that that is the seen level, but there’s much more happening under my radar.

John: Yes.

Q: And this is for this world, in preparation for what the calling is bringing?

John: It isn’t at all for this world. It is all for our humanness.

Q: But it would have an effect on this world?

John: It has effect on our humanness. As that really catches in this world, it will destabilize this world. Our humanness is real. This world, in how it’s configured and what holds it together, is artificial and temporary.

Q: Perhaps I should be using the words “this planet” instead of “this world,” but humanness belongs on this planet. Is that one small form of the calling or is there much, much more?

John: Inasmuch as it opens in our humanness, which is in the heart, the rest of the planet awakens. We are the power-holders. Without the power-holders home, the rest of the planet isn’t going to really open.

Q: I’m knowing the urgency and immediacy, so as we come in closer to that vortex, the responsibility as beings and hearts heightens and intensifies?

John: Until we are cornered, or we might begin to listen to what we know within.

As we come into the vortex and the vortex is our life, as the vortex is being embodied, present, in person, it begins to set the tone in the planet and to that the beingness of the planet responds.

Q: The first embodiment and the responsibility is in the little details of our life coming in the clearest beingness?

John: If you be this in the little things, you will be this in the big things that come along.

The Energy Of Money: Cold Cash Or Warm Flow?

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Q: I’ve been seeing how control and tightness exist in the core of what I was born into. There’s now so much more space for real living than I chose before, and this tightness also affects my relationship with money. Can you speak about that, and the tightness at my core?

John: That is tied into personal survival and maintaining being the centre of the universe. Instead of having a personal identity, which separates you from the rest of the universe wherein you are using the universe in order to cope, instead of maintaining a personal identity and being separate, from the universe, know your self within the whole universe. Then, instead of there being the need to personally survive, what survives is the beingness within you.

Money is energy. Do you relate to such energy with personal rigidity or a sweet openness? The energy of money is to be integrated: knowing how to be in the energy of money, while at the same time knowing your self and not needing to have a personal identity within the energy of money.

Q: It seems to go so deep. I don’t understand it but I know my life’s been driven by this control around money.

John: Your relationship with money displays the present nature of your mind. The mind doesn’t change easily; it is first governed by patterns. When you’re knowing your real self in context of those patterns, then you’re confronted by those patterns. They would have you being a different way than how you actually know your true self to be.

It is being your true self in context of those mental patterns that invites those patterns to open. That is change. You cannot change the patterns. You can only be your real self in the midst of them. That causes the patterns of your mind to transform. The patterns of your mind will match what you are being. They do change by transforming, but that is slow.

The change within your own heart can be in an instant. The mind matches slowly, and the body matches even slower. Your mind is a display of what you came into this world with, and your mind is also a display of what you were being. Let gentleness manage your money.

Q: I don’t think I know how.

John: Be open to being gentle with your money. Then the energy of what money is, is open and soft within you. Instead of money and the energy of it being cold within you, let money and the energy of it within you be warm – warm, living cash, instead of cold cash.

There is a beingness to money. Find it. Have a relationship with the beingness of what money is. That is having a real relationship with the love in money, instead of the love of money.

A Deeper Level Of Mother – A Real And Unusual Love

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Q: I want to know how best to support my son in what he’s going through both physically and emotionally while I’m so far away. We’ve had some lovely conversations on the phone, but afterwards I felt he was missing me and it was heart-breaking.

John: Your deeper womanness has more real reach than the motherly responses that you’re accustomed to. Your motherly response is to rush in. Your response from within your deeper womanness doesn’t rush in. It reaches directly and finds him, but not where he’s looking from, which directs his heart awareness to where it belongs. It centres him.

When you move from within what is usual for you, you teach him to do the same – to move in what is usual for him. Come from, within, what is unusual for you and you invite him to see from the same level in him. That takes him out of his emotional thinking and introduces him to a depth of feeling that isn’t anchored in what he is experiencing in himself: a depth of feeling that is in his heart, anchored in a beingness that he’s not accustomed to. 

He doesn’t need what he’s looking for. He needs what answers him. There’s more to him than what his self and his life consist of. This new circumstance that he’s in addresses that. He doesn’t need the help that he thinks he needs, and he doesn’t need the help that you feel he needs. He needs to know more and see more. 

It’s that deeper knowing and the deeper seeing from within his heart that he needs, and you’re able to give that to him by coming from that in you. When you are profoundly different, he knows more and sees more.

This isn’t about his survival. This is about his heart. You’re able to be more than what he’s used to in you. He wants to have the love that he’s used to from you. 

Q: Do you mean like taking care of him?

John: And your way of taking care of him. When you are being what you are used to, that tells him to remain in what he’s used to.

When you come from your deeper womanness, he will have from you a love that is unusual. The real and the unusual invite knowing in him, and seeing that is beyond his self and what he’s used to, putting him into a deeper level, a deeper level than what has made his experience. You respond to the deep and the unusual. Live that to him. 

He doesn’t need the help that he doesn’t need. He needs what he hasn’t realized yet. You come from that, and he’ll see. He’s at a critical point. Answer him by you being at yours. 

Q: Can you tell me more about that critical point? 

John: That point in you, left behind, which is all old. It has its goodness, and it’s old. And there is that point in you to which you are able to be all new. You can’t use your past or your self for you to be in that. In this, you can’t rely on your experience. Your experience gives you what you’ve had before. It doesn’t give you what you know is new. You belonging to what you know is new puts you into the new. 

In the new, you are love without a face. Love’s face forms when you are being that deeper love in the midst of your self, ways of deeper love not learned in your self, levels of love unknown to your self – known by you and not yet experienced.

This is what you came here for. 

Q: This reminds me of when I’ve heard you speak about the future self. Is that what you mean by “the new”?

John: Yes. You have direct knowledge of it and you have no experience in it. 

Q: So do I just keep relating to what I know in that? Because I do know it.

John: You relating to it makes it real. What you relate to, you come from. 

Q: It really is so beautiful. You once told me that it would be beautiful, but I thought the cost was too high. That was a long time ago. 

John: Beauty comes before cost.  

The shift of your relating brings your true future into the present. You’re not going to be the kind of mother and the kind of wife that you’ve been used to; awareness espoused to direct knowledge made real in your heart and lived in your self. 

Your way is to love like you have never loved before. It will be the death of the self that you’ve been used to. You will make a new one. 

Q: It’s so beautiful. Thank you.

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