Opening To The Unknown You Know

Q: Since I spoke with you last, I’ve connected with a vertical column of light that comes from my head and goes upwards. In that, what I’m doing is reaching to you, moving into you. I’m realizing I’m not of this world and everything started to change. It’s as if I’m in two places at the same time: I’m here in my life but I’m not coming from here. What I’m coming from seems to be a place I know. It’s present all the time but I don’t see it. Am I able to move faster in this?

John: Yes: by not being even a particle of your self, or of the world. So all there is in what you come from is pure you, levels of that that aren’t recognizable from your self or this world. That direct relating to what isn’t your self and isn’t this world is what feeds this in you, so that this level of you has you exclusively.

Be given to what you know you are in. Be given in a way that is absolute. Nothing else has you.

Q: Can you give me an example of what could have me that I’m not aware of?

John: Better than that, you are aware in levels that you are not thinking in. You are aware in more than what you think.

Q: Is that because it’s something I haven’t been awakened to, or haven’t been making physical? Why is that?

John: You don’t see it. You’re not thinking in it, you’re not cognitive of it, you’re not seeing it. You are in more, and you know more than what you see and what you think.

Q: Why am I not doing that? Is there a way to be aware of this?

John: It’s for you to open into the unknown. With you – and this is a little bit of a play on words – when you open into the unknown you are opening into what you know in a way that isn’t dependent on seeing and on thought. It isn’t dependent on your experience. 

You are capable of much more than your thinking in this, your seeing in this, your experience in this. You are ahead of all of your experience. So when you open to the unknown, it’s what you know that you’re not thinking, feeling, seeing or experiencing that you come into.

Q: Is there a level of control or order – but not as a self – that is on my plate?

John: It’s on your plate, way out into the unknown.

Q: Does it have to do with not staying with something and letting it change? Do you know what I mean?

John: Yes. It’s neither not staying with something, nor letting it change. What’s already there for you you’re not going to come into through thought or feeling, seeing or experience. It’s direct into you.

Q: There’s no experience; it’s a direct movement.

John: It will turn into experience but it isn’t based on experience.

Q: What is it that has changed? It’s not even that it has changed: it’s completely different.

John: Completely different, not measured by thought or feeling, seeing or experience. But as you come into it, it does reflect in your experience and it will form your thinking.

I heard a story, and it is a little bit like this. There was a person surrounded by a forest fire. He visually had no way out, so he just ran with all of his might straight into the fire. It was either that or be taken over by the flames. As he ran straight into the fire – and he didn’t know if he would run headlong into a tree or whatever because he couldn’t see through the flames –  as he ran straight into the fire, it was not much of a distance before he realized he cleared the whole forest fire, and he was fine. 

So in one way, it’s a little bit like that. He went into the known because he knew he didn’t have anything else. So he just went.

As you go, you will know, and you don’t need the indicators in form, in experience, to help you in this. As soon as you just know that there’s more, without any guidance in experience, you just turn into what you know without knowing first what that is. All you know is that it is.

Q: My sense is that I was doing that.

John: Be in that in a way that you are gone in that, without reference to any markers. 

Q: No markers.

John: Yes: it’s movement of you. It’s not movement of form. That movement has reflection in your form. As you move in this way, you’ll know more, you’ll see more, you’ll understand more, with all of that behind you. 

As you come into this, this will fast increase. You’ll realize direct movement of you that first has no relationship to form. As you move in it, you’ll get to know that level of you. It will grow. As that growth shows, don’t be distracted by how it shows.

For you, this is like you believing the unknown. That is you believing what you directly know, without that being dependent on your experience, your sense perception of what you know.

Bye for now, and see you way, way in there! 

Q: Bye. Thank you.

***

This conversation comes from one of the daily interactive livestreams with John during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Visit johnderuiter.tv  for more!

 

 

Free Of Fear: Quietly Okay In The Midst Of Life

Q: We’ve been talking a lot about fear, and you said it’s about separation inside. All my life I’ve felt separated from my self, that I should fit in and couldn’t be my self. I feared others, feared that I was not good enough and that I wouldn’t survive. I’ve felt sadness from the beginning. I’ve struggled a lot to find my self and really be me, but fear can still disturb me and take my energy. I want to be free of it and go deeper. 

John: Wherever you have hope or fear, you’re giving your power away. You’re giving your power away to your self instead of to what you really are. When you are being what you really are, you are happy without a reason.

What you are is rested okayness. In being what you really are, you are deeply okay despite your relationships, your circumstances, your self, your life.

Enjoy being that quiet okayness without that okayness coming from something: not from your self, not from others, not from your life – just you.

You are free to enjoy being that without results. Without results, without return, means that it really is you. It’s quiet, it’s subtle and it’s nurturing. All within, you don’t need anything else.

Q: I need to let go of my past but it comes up, takes my energy, and it’s a while before I can be present again.

John: You’re blaming what you are giving your power to. Your past and your patterns don’t take you away; you use them to get away.

When you are being what you really are, you are unconditioned intimacy that is just there. If you’re being that, it freely moves toward everything. 

Q: It’s good to hear. What can I do to keep my strength and use my power in the right way? 

John: Like relaxing in all of your weaknesses.

Your strengths don’t need you. Your weaknesses need you – just your presence in them; your quieted presence there in your weaknesses. 

 

A Deeper Perspective On COVID-19: From Fear To Inner Wellbeing

Three questioners speak with John on a new online platform:

Q1: I just really wanted to ask you, John, if you would take us into, through you, what’s happening around the world. You said “truth is going viral” and I would just love to hear anything that you could say about the times that we find our selves in.

John: Well, there’s the horizontal level of this worldwide shock event of the COVID-19 virus, all that that is affecting on so many different levels, and then there is the vertical level. It intersects with the horizontal, but it isn’t about the horizontal. The vertical level has a groundedness, a stability, a constancy that has nothing to do with any event, and it’s staying connected where the two meet, so that it’s the vertical knowledge of a depth knowledge, within, that governs our sense of wellbeing and stability concerning anything horizontal – whether it’s positive or negative.

Q1: When a shock happens like this, does that activate something at the points where the horizontal and the vertical connect?

John: If you’re conscious at that particular point where the two meet then the vertical radiates through the horizontal, which brings you from a depth within to do whatever you need to do. 

Q1: So for us in our knowledge of you and our response to what you mean to us, how does that move in what you’re saying of the horizontal and the vertical? Because I couldn’t say that I’m conscious of that point of intersection but I feel like I have consciousness moving somehow, or something like that.

John: The simplicity of that is in a depth okayness, an inner quietude concerning anything within the horizontal. As soon as you’re removed from the vertical then you’ll be subject to emotional stability or lack of emotional stability.

Q1: When there is some measure of restedness does the horizontal have layers or levels to it?

John: Yes, immediately all of the levels of the self: the mind, the emotions, the will, feeling. 

Q1: Is there more for us to do than be in that depth okayness? Is there more, or does that depend on each one?

John: It’s important to not use that okayness to balance any feeling or thought concerning what’s taking place in this whole worldwide event of the virus. As soon as the vertical is being used to stabilize the horizontal, then that’s a use of the horizontal accessing the vertical for the sake of the horizontal, whereas the vertical is first completely on its own. 

So if you’re affected by something in the horizontal, that would be your cue to be vertical: not for the sake of the horizontal, but because it reminds you what matters more than your experience, what matters more than your life, what goes deeper than everything, and then being that depth of verticality, coming from what’s deeper than your self and being that in all of the horizontal, which is a perspective shift.

Q1: A few days ago I had this sense – it was like a seeing – I felt like it was the virus. I felt like I was seeing that over the whole planet. I don’t know if that’s what it was, but it was one of those kind of drop-in glimpses that doesn’t seem like it’s connected to anything familiar in my self.  I have no real understanding about this but it was such a surprise and had so much form to it within my own body. Can you say something to that?

John: Everything in the horizontal is dependent on the vertical. The horizontal doesn’t exist on its own. The deep does exist on its own. To be in real relationship with anything such as the virus is to be in connection to that through the deep, within, deeper than thought and feeling, deeper than will or emotion. In that way our selves are first factored out of what’s going on, whereas our tendency is to bring our selves in first in what’s going on, because it’s in our selves that we’re affected

Where you’re connected to a shock event such as what the world is in right now from what is deeper than thought or feeling, will or emotion, it puts you on a level of experience in what’s going on that’s overlaying this whole world and affecting everyone, but from a perspective and a direct experience that has nothing to do with our selves. So it puts us in a much deeper level of what the virus is, which first, then, in that level, really has nothing to do with the virus or us.

On a level of all things being connected and everything affecting everything, a virus can’t even be understood as a virus. We have that understanding, our understanding of a virus based on our experience of it, how it affects our selves, how it affects our bodies. But without that effect, what’s taking place in deeper levels within a virus is completely different from anything that we can even relate to in our selves, just like the deeper levels of time change so much that time isn’t even recognizable as time.

Q1: When something is so shared like this and has so much attention around it all across the world, does that change the form of the thing, in this case the virus? Does that actually interact with the deeper levels of that form?

John: Yes. Consciousness is connected on every level, so yes, there’s a surface effect and there’s also a deeper level effect that has first nothing to do with the surface effect.

Q1: As this moves through, is it that we do the things like you’re saying in the horizontal that make sense to do, and then we open in the vertical? That opportunity, how is that more? 

John: Everything that takes place in your experience is going to feed your orientation as awareness, so if you’re oriented to the horizontal, it’s the horizontal in your experience that is going to flare up. If you’re oriented to the vertical, anything that takes place in the horizontal opens you up immediately into the deep. It’s the deep in you that radiates instead of an emotional, mental experience. 

It isn’t going to be the same for everyone: it’s all dependent on what each is oriented to regardless of what they think, what they believe. If you’re oriented to the truth within, then immediately there’s going to be an opening, an opening deeper within that moves up into your experience that may not affect you in your experience in a way that makes sense to you, because it’s the deep within that’s radiating in your surface experience. So you can have experiences that don’t make sense, or having a deeper sense that doesn’t have a practical application.

What this does offer is that there is a depth perspective that’s emerging in your self that isn’t first measured in an intellectual way or in a cognitive way. It measures in a depth radiation that’s present in your experience. So it’s openness going out into your experience, into the horizontal, affecting your seeing in your life even though that may not first, directly, have practical results. So what it first reveals to you is a depth knowledge that is what you are instead of your experience being what you are.

Q1: As I’m resonating with what you’re saying, it feels like it’s touching a part of my mind, like deep mind. I don’t have any awareness really, there, but it feels that there is maybe something like warmth or some kind of life in the deep mind, like if the deep mind was like deep space, and there was like a glimmering of …

John: It is like that. It’s like deep space having presence in your mind and then, because it settles in your mind and you’re not going to thought, emotion or feeling, then deep space – which has nothing to do with our experience on this planet with our selves – has presence, slowly, that comes into thought and feeling, will and emotion, which is a complete shift of seeing. The seeing doesn’t need to first make sense. It’s first known.

If you’re not drawing conclusions from knowing something so profoundly different that doesn’t yet have a practical application, then it continues to build in your experience. As soon as you draw a conclusion, you end that depth infusion because you’re moving into a practical application. It will become practical without you making it practical. As soon as it becomes practical, you know and then you conclude.

What this shock event really offers is either a strengthening of a self-orientation, because that’s what’s affected, or if you’re gentled and quieted within, this shock event opens up the deep. So what it really addresses, as you’ve remained gentled and quieted in the midst of anything that brings your attention to your self, what this does is it brings up the level of you way, way within that is like deep space being you, that gets to have presence in the midst of this circumstance because that’s how deeply you’re starting to relate within.

The greater the cost, in your experience, of being gentled and quieted, the greater the depth within that you’re relating to. So really, in this kind of event, this kind of shock event, the opportunity for you to realize a depth of being is enormous.

It’s a worldwide opportunity to realize something a little bit more that’s really difficult to come by: to realize the truth, within, because of the invitation that’s present within this extreme worldwide event to relate to something that’s other than what affects our selves, other than fear, other than hope, other than survival. There’s the invitation to quietly realize, within, in a way that’s new, and it stands on its own. 

Q1: When I touch into that kind of relating, it feels like it’s happening intermittently in the background in me, and that I’m more and more helpless in doing anything to bring it into the foreground.

John: Warmly helpless. It’s the warmth, the quietude in the warmth that shifts the orientation.

Q1: Thank you so much, John.

***

Q2: Hello. I would like to continue a bit about this situation in the world right now, and here in Denmark we’re not allowed to go out. If I understand what you’re saying, it doesn’t matter if I go out or if I stay at home, or if I grab a lot of food or if I don’t. That’s just secondary, right?

John: Secondary to what you really are: yes. Living, survival on every level, is secondary to what you really are.

Q2: I had a dream about this virus, someone wanting to show me – it was like a cell, there were two parts in it – and told me that there was someone evil that wanted to spread it around through the water. I knew that if I just would stay in the heart then nothing could happen to me. Is it like that?

John: There are no evil viruses. Viruses on their own, regardless of how they perform on the surface, are not bad. They are really all right. They can affect your body in a way that’s bad for your physical circumstances. That doesn’t make the virus bad.

On a different level, the virus making it difficult for your body or your whole relationship to survival can seem bad, but as you drop deeper within and you start to realize what you’re not used to realizing normally in your life, because you’re not so strongly affected as you are in the circumstance, then this goodness arises.

We are capable of depth perspective, which means that our perspective isn’t governed by our experience, what we feel, what we think. So we are present within thought and feeling, but present in a way that is deeper within than anything to do with our experience. That makes us beingness of depth knowledge in the midst of a worldwide virus takeover.

Q2: But before the virus it was also like that, right? People were also living in fear, or living in this contraction, and now they are shaken because of the shock.

John: It presents everyone with a different kind of opportunity. There’s the invitation to feel differently, to think differently, to open in a way that we’re not familiar with. That’s there for everyone, so regardless of how we’re affected on the surface in our lives, there’s an unusual opportunity that the whole world is in to see differently, a little differently, instead of being oriented to what we’re used to of gain and loss.

Q2: Thank you.

***

Q3: I’m calling from Denmark. This is also about the world situation and what I experience is happening in the collective consciousness. My question is, is it part of this shock event that there’s some sort of a balance in facing the facts, facing what is actually going on, seeing reality as it is on the actual level while, in the midst of that, standing in the vertical? There can be a tendency to not want to see what is actually going on or what it’s about – what is rolling towards us in the actual level.

John: What’s rolling towards you is that you’re going to die.

Q3: What is that?

John: What is rolling toward you is that you are going to die, eventually.

Q3: Yes.

John: And this event just brings up how much you haven’t been in touch with that.

Q3: Yes.

John: Without this event your death is so far removed from you that it doesn’t have your thoughts. When has your thoughts, what comes up in your experience is fear and concern.

Q3: Exactly. It’s moving closer very, very fast, so it’s the realization that a lot of people are going to die.

John: Then this can be the beginning, for you, of you living with your death, whenever it’s going to be, but the subject of your death, the reality of your death, that it has a warm presence in your heart. It really is a warm and a dear part of your whole existence and your whole life, because your existence isn’t going to continue here in physicality. So if you’re living with your death warmly in your heart, your whole seeing, as you live, changes. You’ll think differently, you’ll feel differently. You won’t have a perspective with the underlying belief that your existence is going to continue in physicality. You won’t have the underlying belief that everything needs to go well for you in this life.

 You’re grounded in a depth perspective that your death isn’t going to affect, and it’s that level of seeing that becomes freed in your life.

Q3: Are you describing to me now what is actually happening or going to happen?

John: What’s able to happen within you on a heart level.

Q3: I know the truth of that. I know that in a situation like this it’s the only way forward because things are going to happen, no matter what.

John: And then a little deeper than that is that it first, first, deeply, warmly, doesn’t matter to you what does or doesn’t happen, just in terms of a profound sense of wellbeing, that that sense of wellbeing in you doesn’t come from your self, doesn’t come from your experiences. It doesn’t come from your physical existence here in this world; it comes from what’s deeper within than your self and you’re consciously, then, being that.

Q3: What I wanted to get clear is whether this virus is actually here or not. A lot of people think it’s not here, and a lot of people think it is here, so the question is around seeing the actual reality as it is.

John: The actual reality isn’t first the surface occurrence. The actual reality has to include every level of what there is. Most of the levels are all unseen.

Q3: So when I refer to actual reality I mean the surface level. I mean people dying and the virus and everything that’s happening with the world, our society breaking down.

John: Most of society is artificial. It isn’t based in the real; it’s based on that everything is going to continue. It’s based on what we fear could happen and what we hope will happen.

You being what you are after you’ve died while you live, life is good.

Q3: Yes. I really feel the change in perspective. There’s a change also in what actions to take on the surface.

John: Then you’re more of a being taking action rather than a fearful self taking action. The fearful self doesn’t function very well.

See you out there in all of this connectivity!

Q3: Thank you, John.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beyond Hope, Fear and Dread: The Healing Kiss Of Love

Q: I have a close friend who’s very ill with multiple sclerosis. We were talking together today and wondering how it’s possible to trust totally; to accept and be grateful when you’re hoping to heal from a terminal disease, and are afraid of dying.

John: Healing is not ever worth hoping for. Healing is worth being in, if it is there.

Q: What do you mean by ”if it is there?”

John: If it is being healed, that is worth being in. If it is not being healed, that is worth being in. To have a preference between the two only makes it worse. It is the love of being, not the need of healing.

Multiple sclerosis is not worth getting rid of. It is worth being in.

Q: I am very pulled to be with people who are ill because there is so much for me to learn about illness and death.

John: If you wish to learn about illness and death, then let your whole heart be wide open to trade places with anyone that is ill or dying. Not needing to trade places: just wide open. Illness or death can only threaten what you are hanging onto. 

Everything is a shortcut to being, including multiple sclerosis, if you unconditionally be in it. 

To win the lottery of being it is for you to unconditionally be in absolutely everything as it presently is, without any need of anything changing in order for you to be more okay. Then anything that life could ever give you is always greeted with the sweetest “yes.” 

“No” exists only where there is fear. Anywhere that hope exists – hope for anything –  is where fear and dread exist. Dread is all of the tight muscles holding together the face of hope.

To be with someone who has multiple sclerosis is to enjoy them as though they have something really special. It is for you to lose your perspective on it. Your perspective on it only feeds sorrow. 

It is only innocence and love that can kiss multiple sclerosis. Anything else either fears it or, in a sabotaging way, wants something from it.

Give your friend a kiss for me.

 

True To Your Heart In A World Of Technology

Q: I want to ask about technology in our world and finding one’s self. When I’m using computers or my phone it takes me away from being able to listen to my interior. I get distracted and addicted to doing things I don’t care about. Once I start down that path it’s hard to remember to come back, to stay committed to being my inner truth.

John: Technology is fine. What it will magnify is your orientation. You’re accustomed to technology belonging to your self, so when you engage it, it magnifies your self, separating you from your heart and what’s deeper. 

Give it a little turn, a shift, where you let your computer and your phone belong to your heart.

Q: I like that.

John: In that, you won’t love technology but in using it you’ll love your heart.

Q: I feel like something happens when I use technology. I start out well-intentioned in using it for my heart, and then somehow lose track of my heart or just stop listening.

John: That’s because in your life you easily take your self to heart and you use technology to do that. Live your life with the clear understanding that everything that’s yours belongs to your heart.

As that begins to take form in your self then you can go a little deeper and everything that is yours belongs, through your heart, to your being.

Q: That’s a much more subtle distinction.

John: When you make your heart more real to you in your life than your self, it’ll be easy for you to make your being more real to you in your life than your heart and your self. 

The whole world of the heart is your grade school of being – if you’ll let you and your self be mastered by you in your heart.

The beginning of your being is your heart. Your heart, as you’re being in it, is like the entrance to your being. If you try to understand your heart or your being, you separate from them, but as soon as you like being rested, gentled and quieted in your heart, despite your self, you are into your being. 

As you remain rested in your heart in the midst of any kind of pressure, then pressure opens you more deeply into your being. When you remain unconditionally in your heart in the midst of any kind of pressure, pressure gives you your depth of being. 

Instead of using your self to manage pressure or to escape from pressure, just remain in your heart in the midst of pressure. It so sweetly opens you. It takes you right into the depth of where you left off from your innocence.

Live in that, and you heal your past of separation.

Q: I’d like to ask one more question. I feel my sexual drive brings a lot of pressure when I’m trying to stay true to my self. The drive is good, but at times it feels like it’s running my life. It takes my thoughts and I can’t stay focused under that pressure. How can I transcend that gracefully and maintain the depth?

John: In the midst of that pressure, without changing anything in your self, delicately like giving your sexuality to your heart and anything that’s deeper. Like giving your sexuality to your heart and to your being. 

Surrender your sexuality from within your self to your heart.

Q: Thank you.

 

What Can I Do About My Shyness?

Q: I experience my self as a very shy person. How I can adjust my shyness so that it doesn’t restrict me in certain situations?

John: Don’t adjust it or change it. Don’t cover it. Don’t be ashamed of it, and whatever that restricts in your circumstances, be genuinely okay with. In particular, don’t do anything with your face or your head to cover it, or with how you hold your lips. 

The reason that you have your shyness is that you are sensitive to being seen, and you feel uncomfortable in your self when you’re seen. That isn’t something to get rid of. Make no adjustments for it; just sweetly grow with it. 

When your shyness builds to the point of embarrassment, then for sure don’t do anything with your head or how you move your face – particularly how you slowly tighten your lips as your lips close. Just let the shyness beam, without the need of a defense or any protection. 

Stay with that, unconditionally, and you’ll awaken. Anything you do to compensate for it or to cover it prevents your immediate awakening. 

Q: You mean I’m closing my heart when I do it?

John: A little bit, and in those times when you desperately need to cover it in order to cope in a situation, then yes. If you judge the shyness in the way that some have judged you in it, yes: you’re closing your heart. When you judge it in the same way some have judged it, you shut your heart down. 

Delicately remove all of your ways of dealing with your shyness. 

Your heart needs to stay in your face, and it doesn’t matter how that makes you feel in your self.

Don’t do anything to save your self from your heart showing in your face.

Q: Thank you.

 

 

How Can I Be A Real Mother To My Baby?

Q: Since my baby was conceived I’ve seen how grounded my self is in certain beliefs. I’ve moved into what opening and softening really is in connection to the baby, and it’s something very different. What does it truly mean to be a mother in relation to the beingness of the baby?

John: Being a mother is a role of yours, and the real relationship isn’t first that of a mother and a baby, or a mother and a child. The real relationship is directly within the bond that’s there: how the two of you directly connect as beings.  

Q: There are moments when that seems to be happening, but my mind wants to know how to do it.

John: You don’t need to understand how because you know; you know the deeper reality of it.  It doesn’t come from an understanding, and understanding it doesn’t put you into it. What puts you into that deeper reality is that you respond to it. 

As the two of you relate directly through the bond, you are in a fundamental level of communication – the one that matters the most.  If you compromise that for anything in your role, in how you relate as a mother, you separate from that real connectivity and the depth of real parenting is compromised.  

Real parenting is you remaining within the connectivity of the bond, a deeper level of reality between the two of you.  As you’re being that together, your child grows up being that in the midst of everything, and that ‘everything’ matters less than being the connectivity. It enables thriving as a being in the midst of every kind of development, in the midst of any kind of gain or loss: a knowing child, being reality. 

As a mother, you are a most delicate custodian of this.  Everything that you do as a mother is first dependent on this.  

Q:  It’s as though the baby is a doorway into the deep.

John: Directly reflecting to you what real depth of parenting is: that you live being the doorway to the deep. That’s what your child, growing up, lives having in you. Turn into what you know and see in your baby, and you’ll manifest that depth of parenting. 

Real parenting is you guiding a being within its development, in its body, its self, and as a person. You’re guiding not first a child, but a being as it comes into all of its forms: a being child, growing up listening to your words because of what you are being in your words. Then, as soon as you speak, the real bond is moving. 

The child grows up as a being, comprehending through its forms what is unseen within everything that is seen.  

 

Beyond Worry And Fear: At Home In A Bombing Zone

Q: I have a hard time relaxing. Lately, we’ve been living in a combat zone near the Gaza strip and we have a lot of bombing days. Recently there was bombing in the night, with rockets falling from both sides. That night I tried to relax and also asked for your help. After some hours I suddenly felt clarity, as if I was leaving my body. I could see it from above. I could see the neighbourhood and the fighting from both sides. When bombing begins I’m usually so involved in knowing where to run, calculating where bombs will fall, how much time I have, where the nearest shelter is … but something changed last time. Would you speak to that?

John: You became settled deeper within. You went into a deeper level which gave you access to a much higher level of seeing. So you came into a natural perspective that wasn’t based on your experience of your self and your body. 

You would go through the same thing if you died. If a rocket landed on your body, in that moment you would be out of your body and you would clearly see everything that’s taking place. In all of your seeing, you would be so at home. You wouldn’t see anything wrong with what happened to your body. Only the deeper and the higher remain.

The middle in between is gone, and anything not integrated in your self is gone with it, so there’s no longer the capacity for concern in your self. There’s no longer the possibility of being at odds with the deep. All there is, is you at one with your being and everything you’ve ever known, and from there you get to see the rest of it. You see the more. 

That’s what you get to be by deep, deep, subtle choice while you live, while you’re living in a bombing zone, while you’re living in a self that’s imperfect and full of lack; a self that isn’t all like your being, yet.

Your being – you as a being – gets to live in a bombing zone, and you get to be the door for that, the door for your being to come into all of your self and your life, and to have everything that’s yours.

Q: Can you explain that more?

John: Through your openness, you, as a being, get to live in a bombing zone. For a being it isn’t worrisome. It isn’t a fearful thing. For a being, it is full of inner beingness to be in any kind of zone, and you are the door for your being to come through into your self, into your life, and to have it all. 

Your being gets to recycle your self and everything that’s yours, enabling your being to have form in your self and your life.

 

 

Healing Your Broken Heart

Q: Hi, John. This is the first time I’ve met you. I had a very short relationship about one and a half years ago and it’s still very painful. I can’t understand why I can’t let it go. How can I feel that love, happiness and sense of being complete within myself, and not be looking to find it outside? 

John: By being gentled and quieted in your heart in the midst of such pain; by having need of nothing in the midst of such pain. While it seems contrary to the impulse in your self for you to survive, such beingness does reveal the deep in you.

You need the deep in you more than you need to survive. In that, pain will help you. 

 Q: Do I have to know why it is so painful?

John: What matters most is that your heart is opening and softening in the midst of the pain that you’re not understanding. That opens you and brings up the deep from within. You need that for you to really live. 

As you really live in that, you’ll be coming into heart-understanding. You will be coming into the heart-understanding that you didn’t even need, and you’ll have something to give to others. You will have heart gold to give. 

All of the pain isn’t going to hurt you, even though it hurts. If you resist the pain you’ll hurt your self and others. If you open within the pain, you will awaken to that which matters more than the pain, and you will love. 

Live that way, and when you are old you will know that others are better because you have lived. 

 

On Flashbacks And The Healing Of Trauma

Q: Some months ago I made a really brave decision and ever since then I’ve felt happy and really powerful. My heart is open most of the time. I feel love and can help a lot of people, but then there is a huge flashback into my childhood and a wave of pain – a lot of pain. I know it’s not the real me and I open to be with it, but I forget everything. Why does it still come? Will it ever go away?

John: When you have a flashback, the pain is the holding that’s there from your past. The holding is put in place by a judgment that you consciously made in your past. You don’t need to remember what that judgment was. What matters is that the judgment is a closing you support with your emotion and your thinking. You set it in your will, which puts it into your body. 

When you go through a fundamental opening, the levels of your body open. That can move a wave of your past right into the present, and there you’re able to be in your past differently.

Q: Can you explain more?

John: When you have a flashback your nervous system flares, which puts you right into the experience of your past. The experience of your past is in your nervous system and it’s in your body.

As your nervous system flares, instead of being with the pain – which is a distraction – it’s all about you opening: not opening to the pain, but you opening because that’s what’s real and true for you. That openness is what you really are.

Without addressing your past as it comes up, without dealing with it, just completely open in it. Open without any view of control, without any view of survival, in the way that you were able to open in the past but didn’t. Wherever you have opened in the past, you have no issue. Your issue with the past is where you closed, so as it comes up again, deeply, quietly open.

When your past comes up and you open in it, all that you are is openness: openness in a way that you’ve never been before. You begin to see differently. You’ll see in your past what you couldn’t see before. As you see differently, love moves into your past and it changes your past.

Your past is fixed only where you closed. As you open in your past, what you’re opening into, without realizing it, is your future self. You’ll enter a level of development in your self that you’ve never been in before. It’s that difference that addresses your nervous system, opens it and heals it.

Q: And when that happens it doesn’t come back again?

John: Your past will keep coming back, but when it comes back, it comes back as love. Then, regardless of what your experience has been in your past, as it comes back you love your past because you see differently in it. You can see, whereas before you couldn’t. You couldn’t see because you closed. 

When your self suffers a trauma and you open in it, love is released into your self despite what’s happening to your self. When you open, everything is helping you. When you open, trauma deeply helps you. It’s difficult to understand until you’ve lived it.

Q: Do you mean it’s helping me to be the person that I want to be? How can it help?

John: When you’re opening in the midst of trauma, the trauma to your self draws up the deep in you. As soon as you’re opening, what you are being is the same as your being.

When a trauma hits your self and you are being the same as your being in the midst of that, much more of your being opens, moves and fills into your traumatized self, and you understand in a way that is contrary to your experience. What you understand is love. What you experience is hurt.

As you open, it’s love that addresses the hurt. As soon as you close, it’s a judgment that addresses the hurt. It’s the judgment that seals in the trauma. It locks it into your body.